How to be Selfish as a Parent!

According to the Huffingtonpost.com, being selfish is characterized as lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. Many times, I have had people tell me that I need to start putting myself first more. In other words, I need to be more selfish. I get it; often times we tend to put ourselves last, especially after becoming a parent. However, is it possible to truly be selfish when you have little ones to consider? The other day I found myself thinking how I wish I could be selfish but it seems a little impossible. I recently started a new job and in doing so I had to consider how that would affect my daughter getting to school and getting picked up. I have to make sure our schedules coordinate before I can even accept a job! I mean these are things that you don’t think about before you start your family. You’re like, yea I want this job and it’s done. As a result, I transferred her to a different school. Then in the midst of waiting to start this particular position, another opportunity arose. This is one that really excited me and I thought maybe they picked another candidate because I never heard from them since applying. As I’m predicting the future and claiming this position as mine even though I haven’t even made it to the interview yet, once again I have to consider my daughter. Accepting this position would mean, she had to change schools AGAIN. Since I am working at a school, you better believe she is right there with me. I felt like I had to choose between what I wanted career-wise and my daughter being stable as far as schools. Here is my opportunity to be selfish right?! I mean, it’s more money and I would be happy in this position, my daughter is resilient so she’ll be fine. What else is there to think about? I can’t be selfish if I tried!! My a** didn’t go to the interview because I don’t want my daughter to be in yet another school. Her feelings matter too!! Although, I would have loved to see what the outcome would have been, my children come first in my life. As long as they are happy, I am happy. I feel like that is an unspoken commitment you make when you become a parent. Not everyone thinks that way, but this is the unselfish way I chose to live my life. Every decision that I make, I have to consider my children as a factor. I laugh because I feel like when my girls father gets on my nerves, I even consider their feelings when I’m thinking about giving him the pink slip!!! This is MY life and they have nothing to do with my relationship so why am I thinking about them? The answer is simple. It’s OUR life and this is what they know so my decisions don’t just affect me. Granted, I won’t stay and be unhappy for the sake of my children but that just goes to show the magnitude of their influence on my life.  So no, I can’t be selfish. I am a parent so that means unselfishly putting them first! Maybe in some areas of my life, but overall, being selfish isn’t an option for me. I feel like it would be selfish of me to constantly put other things or people before my kids as they didn’t ask to come into this world.” Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”(Elizabeth Stone)

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